Sunday, April 18, 2010

At the airport

I just got back from Toronto, where the primary purpose of the trip was to renew Bryan's driver's license, but I also got a ton of wedding-ish things done, and played with Audrey (Bryan's niece) and hung out with his family and friends. I have a ton of pics of little adorable Audrey, but I'll save that for another post. This one is about the ridiculousness of the Canadian airport.

Part I. Ridiculousness of Canadian customs

When we were coming back to Boston, we had to go through customs at the airport. Bryan and I stood in a really long line to wait to talk to customs people, and we realized that there were several people going up to kiosks and then going right through and bypassing the customs line!

So I had Bryan stay in line to hold our place and I walked up to the kiosk and see that it's a retina scanner not unlike this:

And so it tells me to stand in front of the scanner and look into the mirror. And then a few seconds later it tells me to, "stand a little bit closer," then a few seconds later, "stand a little bit farther away." And then, "stand a little bit to your right." After 4 or 5 iterations of this, I was like, "ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?!" I was literally doing mini DDR moves in front of this kiosk, staring into a tiny mirror and everyone behind me was probably laughing at me (they probably weren't, but I felt really ridiculous).

Finally the kiosk says, "Wait a moment while your scan is processed." And then a few seconds later, "Sorry, your scan was not successful." UGH. I did this at three different kiosks and after the same results, I give up and join Bryan in the line. Then he goes to try, and it doesn't work on him either. =P

Part II. Ridiculousness of Canadian security

Bryan and I successfully go through the customs line the long way, and get to the security checkpoint where we take out our plastic quart-sized bags of liquids and take off our shoes. Then the security guy takes my bag of liquids and pulls out my face wash, the 141-g bottle of Biore face wash that I purchased in California 6 plane flights ago, and have always brought it in my carry-on and got through security with no problems.

The security guy said, "Sorry, you can't bring this, it's over 100 g."
Me: "What?! But I've brought it with me SO MANY TIMES"
Security Guy: "I'm sorry, but that's the rule here, nothing over 100 g and your bottle is 141 g."
Bryan: "Well, what if we squeeze out half the bottle, then can we bring it?"
Security Guy: "Sorry, it's the size of the bottle, not the amount in it."
"Sorry, I tried."
Me: "I know."

Part III. Ridiculous of Canadian airports

Bryan and I had printed our boarding passes out ahead of time like seasoned travelers, and the person who checked us in had written the gate on our boarding passes since at the time we printed our boarding pass, the gate hadn't been assigned yet. So we arrive at gate 164 (without my face wash) because that's what it said on Bryan's boarding pass. And it correctly displayed the travel information, so we put down our stuff and waited (we got to the gate with an hour to spare). I suggested we grab something at Tim Horton's since I love their iced cappuccino and I don't get it very often.

So we find the closest Timmy's, buy my iced cap, and head back towards gate 164. But this time, only 10 minutes later, it has travel information for Newark! Ummm... So Bryan and I walked up to the TV displays of departures and it says that our Boston-bound flight was leaving from gate 168! Weird...

As we head towards our new gate, I take out my boarding pass and lo and behold, it says gate 168! Then I took our Bryan's boarding pass and it says gate 164!! Who does that?!?!?!